Urban Oracle

Belinda Bentley, Cover of Ohm Times

Nestled in my writing quarters and glad to be out of reach of the piercing New York wind I scan my email and see that famed psychic and sex expert Belinda Bentley is interested in sharing some of her woman’s intuition.  She had agreed to an impromptu q&a.  If the divine was within reach…wouldn’t you ask?  Well, I couldn’t help myself.  And with romance in the air who wouldn’t want to know a little more about a healthy sex life?   I also wanted to know what motivates this multi-talented entrepreneur to share her provocative gifts and womanly wisdom?

Belinda, what is your ethnic background?

I am not completely sure of my ethnic background 100% I like to think of myself as a melting pot or the best of all worlds. My father is black and my mother is German, English and Scottish. My grandmother went into our family history to also find Cherokee Indian and a few other things along the way.

Do you feel that being an ethnic woman has impacted how you are received for your spiritual gifts?

If it has impacted how I’m received I haven’t noticed it. I’ve always fit in perfectly with different cultures, so if someone perceives me as different I think I am just unaware. Whether it is a good difference or bad I just don’t notice. Growing up I remember not understanding why people couldn’t believe I had a white mother and they asked if I was adopted. I couldn’t understand the separation of nationalities, because to me it was just my family. On the other hand one day recently I did notice there doesn’t seem to be very many black psychics out there in the media eye. Monique Chapman and a few others are around, but it seems most are tucked away and I’d love to see more of them out in the public. Because of that realization I am glad to be able to represent a side of the black community in the psychic and spiritual world.  All nationality deserved to be noticed in every profession.

What are your gifts, can you tell us a little about them?

My gifts are of the psychic and medium realm. Being a celebrity psychic medium helps me accomplish helping many people with health issues; love problems; career guidance, financial guidance and give them validation. Mediumship is connecting with the dead, communicating with clients loved ones, investigating the paranormal and also helping police and detectives with murder cases.

The most fun I have being a psychic though is my gift as a Sex Psychic. I’m able to see into a persons sexual being. To me this is valuable because our sexual health is just as important as our mental, physical, spiritual and emotional health yet it is so ignored by the masses. The only way we could exist on this planet is through sex. So nurturing that aspect of the self is nurturing the person, the beings we are and the reason we exist. To deny our sexuality is to deny the self. Sex readings show me what is affecting a persons sex life or how their sexual self is affecting different areas of their life. Such as career, family, relationships and communication. Putting a twist on it, I deal with spirit-sex cases as well. A few days ago I was on a special that aired on Travel Channel called “Ghostly Lovers,” it’s all about spirit sex and Spectrophila. Just a note: when I say sexuality, it means the persons gender and how they relate to the world as a male or female. Or as a sexual human being. Many think when I refer to problematic sexually it means I’m saying they are gay. It comes up quite a lot.

Do you have any advice for people who are interested in Spirituality and are not sure where to start?

If you are someone who just wants to become more spiritual, you feel as though there is more to life than what we see or you have a need to follow a more spiritual path, my advice is start! Start somewhere. Read a book on angels, prayer, meditation, love or the psychic realm. Ask questions, do research and remember that we only use ten percent of our brains. That means there is ninety percent of this world we are not experiencing or not aware that we are experience right now. So there must be more to life than what we think we know. Knowing the facts and being open is he fastest way to explore spirituality.

Was sexuality a taboo with you growing up?

Yes! I was raised in a religious household and I remember everything sexual was wrong except having sex within a male and female marriage. We were even told that certain sexual acts were wrong within the marriage! I couldn’t understand how another person knowing your body better than you knew you own body was healthy. But we were taught that too. You couldn’t touch yourself, but someone can. I see big problems with that. It seemed to put you in a very powerless position. I also remember hearing non stop judgment about gay and lesbian relationships – how they were wrong. It was interesting to hear these stories and how they justified judgment being OK, even when they taught us it’s wrong to judge. Noticing this around age five is what made me really want to explore sexuality more and find out why it’s so bad or taboo. I appreciate my background and experiences because it drove me to be who I am today.

Tell us a little about your thoughts and experiences with pleasure, sexuality and joy…

Through scientific research I’ve found that we are animals who react to mating and sex just like the animal world does. We smell pheromones and react to it. We subconsciously pick up on natural body scents and smells that either repels or attracts people to us. The real pleasure comes through this discovery. Instead of wearing perfumes and body sprays we could be enhancing our own scents! I feel like what we do to cover up our smell can affect libido and who we attracts and don’t attract. Using natural oils and herbs enhances what we have. What we eat will affect this as well as a lot of other things we do. I believe to find pleasure all you have to do is enhance or repair what you already have. We are good enough as we are and we can become better then good and become great! This makes us excellent lovers who excel at giving and receiving. Personally I have began eating more Alkaline, using all nature skin care products like Olive Oil, Coconut Oil and the like. For sexual enhancement I only use all nature products like Sex Butter. This to me is how we discover the true meaning of pleasure. Get out of the mind and back into our bodies where we can enjoy the physical pleasures that this short time on earth allows us.

Does your work ever come home with you and if so how do you address that?

Since I work from home it always follows me in a way. Salt baths, plenty of water, essential oils; anything that brings me joy helps me release my day and my clients with love. Therefore I can get back into my body so I can enjoy my work-less hours or days off. It’s important to have a letting go ritual so that you can be present in the moment for yourself, family and friends. I’ve notice letting go of work helps me enjoy my accomplishments instead of worrying what my next success might be, or waiting for something to go wrong. Many of us do that.

What part of your profession do you love the most?

I enjoy meeting people and teaching lectures etc…anything that brings me face to face with the people I help. I do most of my readings via phone so meeting my clients is rare. The other aspect I love is doing TV. It’s a chance to help people or bring awareness on a mass level. I’m fortunate to be able to do what I love where I love.

Do you have any exercises you can suggest to people who are looking to be in harmony with their sexuality?

You’re breath is your life force. You can go a month without food, three days without water, but you can only go a few moments without air, which tells you just how important breath and breathing is! Make sure you take time out of your day to consciously breath and make sure you are doing it correctly. Breath in and out to oxygenate your body and mind. You’ll think clearer, make better decisions and become one with yourself. When you connect to your own energy it becomes easier to connect with another persons energy. Stretching helps blood flow and blood flow helps increase the feeling in your genitals. Seems to simple doesn’t it? Yet most of us don’t do it and harmony isn’t found. Once the basics are done you can then sit Indian style on the floor or bed and place your hands over your genitals. Use your breath and let the energy expand. As a society we cover this area up constantly, it doesn’t see the light of day, isn’t noticed or touch regularly for most and is missing basic care because it’s rarely touch unless we are cleaning it. Make it a daily ritual to send love, light and energy to those private areas.

What are some healthy habits good to have to be happy with our sexual lives?

Get to know who you are and what you like. Be willing to explore your sexual options as long as you are not hurting yourself or anyone else. Always protect yourself and use good judgment. Those are basic habits to have. Respecting yourself and others is most important. Also make it a habit to talk to your genitals. Sounds strange? It’s stranger that people wear dyed underwear that irradiates their genitals. If you ask your vagina “what underwear do you want to wear today?” You are more than likely going to get an intuitive answer. Cotton over lace, or lace over cotton. Black not blue. This is important because it is scientifically known that color affects our mood. You may not be aware consciously what black panties or boxers will do to you, but your subconscious mind knows. It’s sole job is set for survival and feeling good and being healthy is the best way to survive. So ask often what your genitals want and need. Favorite sexual position, color, fabric and even soap.

What do you have to say to people that use sex to escape from true intimacy?

I’d say hey I am sure we have all used sex to escape something. Feeling inadequacy, trying to get attention or to make someone fall in love with us and many other escapes instead of dealing with our true feelings and fears. It’s OK. You are only human, but if you are trying to escape, and it’s not bringing you love, joy or happiness it might be time to try something different. The only true intimacy lasting intimacy you will ever have is with yourself. So why not start there. It’s safe. Once you are ready you can share that intimacy with someone else. It’s a process. It doesn’t always happen overnight. Be patient, but diligent.

What are your thoughts on partnership, love and romance?

I have a lot of thoughts on the subject. My wish is that we were more involved in loving and being loved, than finding a husband or wife. We spend so much time trying to be traditional or trying to “capture” someone that we miss out on the what we are really looking for LOVE! I’ve dealt with this so many times with clients. Find true lasting love and then see how it plays out. Build your future and plan it together. Instead of building this make believe future in your mind and wanting someone to fit into that scenario.
Partnerships are beautiful. I love seeing older couples in the park holding hands. I’ve asked a few of them their secrets for long term success. Never go to bed angry was one of them. Continue to show your love instead of saying “I love you.” Be willing to work through your problems, don’t be afraid to say you are sorry and never stop learning. That should be our new tradition. That’s a real partnership with love and romance!
With romance I personally think keep it exciting, non-predicable and simply keep it as an extension of the love you feel. It can be simple or elaborate it doesn’t matter just do it. You want that special someone to feel how you feel about them. Take a couples massage class; a nude yoga class; a relationship workshop. Aim to keep having fun and growing together. Romance is one of the true joys on this planet. Don’t let it die out in the relationship. Always nourish your romantic side.