Urban Oracle

As I spoke to a professional colleague after a guest speaker at a networking event, my eyes began to water.  Everything I was feeling hit me at once.  Perhaps that we were less than arms distance from each other in somewhat close quarters.  I could see the long years of hard earned sassiness and depth of the woman I spoke with in passing.  Something of the intimacy of my eyes watering seemed to signal to her to stay strong and keep moving.  She shrank away.  Tears are funny that way…there is a contagious moment with seeing the eyes of another as their soul allows water to come through as an expression of heart and perhaps surrender.

The myth is that tears are weakness…to let in someone else’s soul song and beam honor to them, acknowledgment of their journey, somehow became interpreted to being the greatest sign of weakness, embarrassment and disempowerment.  That is as far from the truth as I can imagine.  The truth is when the eyes water and we cry, we are surrendering to that which is greater than ourselves…we share a deep expression of humanity and compassion.  This evokes such depth that our most sensitive colleagues and relations shrink away in it’s mere presence for fear they, too, will be touched deeply and have to expose their compassion in professional or public surroundings where they don’t feel safe.  I knew her to be a good woman, though, still, this wave of tears was threatening to arrive with or without my consent.

Thankfully, I have learned the power of tears, so I didn’t have to fend off my embarrassment for being able to show emotions on top of feeling overwhelmed.  I sputtered out a few words to another colleague and moved towards the door to the sanctuary of my used car, Mojo, which was parked overlooking the Ocean.  Perhaps privacy was not so over rated.  As I was leaving two woman stopped me…I was glad to connect and we spoke a little and laughed a little, which broke the ice for me.

I began to feel better, that I could be and show myself without worry of offending or having to stay on edge of how other people receive emotions in the world around them.  The women were supportive and I felt relieved.  One day, I thought, I am going to remind everyone how magical tears are…without this alchemical ingredient we would be lost.  It is a great sign of spiritual wealth and also of being connected to the world around us.  More than anything, tears are an incredible sign of courage, as it takes courage to stand in and take ownership of your truth in the moments that are raw and unpolished.  Without water, seeds cannot grow…without tears we may miss the sign of our own wisdom flooding through.

My tears today were made of a mix of the feeling of being disregarded and unheard, feeling overwhelmed of the news a woman who had just suddenly passed away, gratitude that a group of successful and diverse women could safely connect to empower themselves and vulnerability about sharing my art.  I took the rest of the day to own my precious tears, explore them and their meaning with someone who I knew heard me, who I knew listened and held my experience as sacred and deep.  Now my tears are from joy.